Wednesday, October 14, 2009

A little big sad

I'm a little bit sad tonight. I talked to my husband yesterday, and today again. He should be calling later tonight. I keep my chin up, but gosh I miss him. Its a little bit lonely here - and I'm worn out. I dog is keeping me company, but he is more of a pest at night, than "man's best friend". He wants to be pet, played with and taken outside. He is too young to be lazy and a foot warmer when I am exhausted and the kids are in bed.

I feel like my emotions are on a roller coaster. I grab the happy moments, but those depressing ones try to consume me. Back and forth, I go. I could make you a list of happy thoughts and blessings. I know God has blessed my family richly. I could poor out my heart about all of my sorrows. But, I will still ride this roller coaster.

Fall is so pretty, but it is also very dark and gloomy in Northern Michigan. The days are getting much shorter. The weather is rainy and cloudy most of the time. I think I like Spring and summer here. They are so short, but not so dismal.

Next week, its my wedding anniversary. We will celebrate our 9th year - apart :( And then my birthday. I will be 38. Then our daughter's 7th birthday (she reminds me at least a dozen times a day!). I keep telling people how its so much better for my spouse to be away during this time, instead of during Thanksgiving and Christmas. But, guess what. I don't actually feel that way. I'm sorry if you are one of those people who I lied to. I try to put on a happy face, and maybe even convince myself. But, I don't want to miss any special days with my husband!! During the next 15 years or more in the Coast Guard, we will miss many special days together. Well, you learn to keep your chin up, but it still sucks!

So, there you have it. I am not grateful tonight. I am selfish. But, at least I'm being honest about it. Waah, waah, boo-hoo, and poor me.


K said...

Great big hugs
I am the same way these days

Puffin said...

Thanks K - big hugs to you too!!!