I pushed past the urge to gorge myself with food. I am feeling unsettled tonight, and the desire to eat is very strong. So, here I am writing about it instead of doing it. Drinking sparkling water, and staying stronger than this unhealthy outlet for my stress.
Why do I get like this? Was it the unresolved feelings I have left from a past disagreement (I'm not going to share it with you)? Is it because I'm tired, yet too keyed up to sleep? Is it because the day was just too busy? I don't know. It just is.
My son is going to a preschool, that I don't really like. Of course, he loves it, he is 3. His teacher sent home a letter of changes, based on parental requests to change and improve the program. She sounded pissed off, and I don't like that. She was running the preschool like a glorified day care. Maybe that is o.k. for kids under 3, but my boy is ready to learn. He was playing for a whole hour, out of two. No letters, numbers, calendar, finger plays, songs, learning games, music, manners, hygiene, prayers, or even snack. Just play, art project, story, and go outside. I can do those things at home. Its part of being a stay at home mom. I put him in preschool, so I could really work with my daughter's homeschooling a couple days a week, without interruption. And, because his best friend was going. And, I thought it would prepare him for table work with me at home. The last one is a stupid reason, I know. I am successfully teaching my daughter at home, why do I need to send my son somewhere else to learn? I'm giving the preschool a month. I'm doing it for my little boy, because he loves playing there.
The eye doctor visit was today. My daughter just needs a new left lens. No more eye patching! She was brave, they dilated her eyes, and that stings. The lens is $60, the lady fitting the glasses was trying to talk me into a $200 eye glass package. Ummm, no, that is really dumb. Her glasses are fine, and they aren't broken. If they break, well, we will get new ones. She has had glasses for a year! Go rip off someone else, crazy eye glass lady.
My girlfriend and kids came over, and my hubby came home. We had pizza and bread sticks. The kids had a great time. My little boy, who eats nothing, and lives on air, asked for food, right at bedtime. How do I stop this? How do I get him to eat? I serve dinner, often foods he likes, and sometimes just what I decide to make. He isn't forced to eat, but if he doesn't that is his last choice of the day. I put it in the fridge. We eat at 5:30, and he goes to bed at 8. So, he could come back to it, but its not a neat habit to eat once in bed. He has had 2 1/2 hours. You can see his ribs. He is a bean pole. I hate this part of being a parent. I could remind him at 7:30, that its his last chance. But, then I have to remember to remind him.
I didn't binge, the intense calling is silenced. I'm sure this was boring if you don't struggle with binge eating, but then again, no one is telling you to read my blog!